dudududum....

memories keep popping in my head!
why do you have to be damn likable and irresistible? hahaha!

this sucks

why does it always have to be someone who's already committed? i can't fall twice. i've had enough hurts. i just hate how i let myself be vulnerable to such acts. too stupid to fall the second time.
not guarding my heart.
good thing we'll not see each other.
i hate how i overanalyze things when it means nothing to anyone

goodbyes

it saddens me that we'll have to part soon.
we only have a week left
we've spent 3 weeks together. i'll miss you. surely i will
you guys really brighten my days
i thank God for you

to the group who made me laugh and let me be "me", who let the child inside me come to the open once again.. i love you and i'll miss our bonding and laughter.

another goodbye is drawing near.

love

people around me are either on their way to a romantic relationship or just got out of a relationship.. but either way, both are in love.

i'm in love too.. just not the romantic type of love.

i love people..but not an honest love, not a pure love, not love in its deepest sense.
i just love..i love the feeling of loving people, of having a smile painted on one's face

love

i love love

God, i want to love more. i want to love like you have loved me.
i want to love You with everything in me.
i want to want You and be overly contended with You, just You.

when in doubt, don't touch :))

eeeek! God is really sweet these days in a way that He gives me "moments". He tolerates my girly side haha

yesterday i was in the OR for an oncall duty and my OR nurse crush was also on duty! He's a touch person so we share the same love language :))

he's not wearing a mask and i could see his face clearly! My friend told me that he's cute (ikr!)
he talked to us and gave us work to do since we're bored and he needed help.

moments:
he asked us to distribute bottles of sterile water in every room and to replace the old ones. i asked my friend to ask sir if we'll replace everything so she went to find him. as she went to the other room, sir went inside the room where i was! so i asked him myself. Gah! he's always thankful :)

sir asked us to transfer the wheeled thing inside the room. it was heavy and the wheels need oil so we were having a hard time pushing it.
"can you push it?" then he touched my hand as if he's going to help me push it. i quickly told him "we can" "ok" and he went away to do another work. *blush*

we were leaving. i was at the door about to go out and he was about to go in. i bowed a little 'cause i was really shy haha and to somehow show respect and seniority. then he gave me two pats on my back! i couldn't remember what he said "ok lang yan" or "thank you" i just said "thank you po"

*wink*

crazy move

crazy girls!
my guy friend told me to invite my other guy friend to my birthday and it was really crazy because they were having their small group meeting and i was like "hey they're having a small group" and my guy friend replied, "it's ok, i'm with them" and he "dragged" me..well i walked on my own and he's ahead of me. really crazy 'cause it was like i was an intruder! totally! then my guy friend told the group to excused us for a second and went to the other guy and told him that i have something to say then my guy friend gestured a "come here" and i went. crazy! then i stuttered and i didn't know what to say 'cause it's awkward especially because my crazy groupmates were watching behind the glass door! then as i was stuttering for words i looked at my guy friend as if wanting to be saved and he cleared what i have (well, what he wanted me to say) to say and the other guy replied that he'll see about it, he'll ask for his parents' permission. guy friend, you are really crazy!! :))
then i went back and yes, the girls (groupmates) were all watching as if i was confessing and they were all smiling and waiting for my return. crazy!

and they didn't come..even my guy friend who said he'll come haha

before all that crazy things:
i went to the booth 'cause i have a first timer friend. i was smiling and excited that my friend would want to have a group and our (the other guy friend) eyes met and i just wanted to tell him that my friend's a first timer and where to sign but he said, "ui belated" and i replied, "thanks"

crazy

God, You surprised me! You know i did not ask for this, did i?

fishing-all-day-caught-nothing-but-Jesus-came-and-He-commanded-us-to-cast-our-nets-again-and-we-obeyed-and-so-we-got-plenty moment

i'm a busy bee this semestral break. i seize every opportunity, i get tired but who cares? i'm young! my bones don't craack, craack, i don't have arthritis and i can breathe normally. i am young :)
God has been so faithful. i got 12 cases in less than 10 days :)

friday night.
we were able to ride a jeepney without waiting in line.
we arrived at the lying in with no pregnant women in labor, no babies and no mothers, no one.. just the midwife and the sleeping director in the other room. an hour had passed and we got ourselves busy with nothing then a patient arrived, then another, and another. 3 women arrived and gave birth in the span of 3 hours! we slept for a while and was awaken by the midwife. 2 were in labor. they also gave birth. God is so cool! :) yes this is the fishing-all-day-caught-nothing-but-Jesus-came-and-He-commanded-us-to-cast-our-nets-again-and-we-obeyed-and-so-we-got-plenty moment :)

this is grace. really.
undeserved favor.
thank You, Jesus :)