no butterflies when i'm with him

ironically, i like him but when he's not around.

i was with him last week. gah! he's so friendly, really! he made sure i wasn't left out. he knows how to make a person feel welcomed. i am normal. i acted normal around him because i am normal.
he is really fun to be with. hahahaha!

i think he really likes my friend because he suddenly became stiff when she arrives.
he's really a friend to me. i act as a friend, he acts as a friend too. i know there's no spark or any romantic "thing". there's no anything, simply friendship. i don't feel anything different when i'm with him. ok so that part is ok.

but, but, but! when we're not together, it feels weird
he becomes different when she's present. i become different when we're not together.
this is so weird!!!!! what is this, Lord? :(

i realized that i still like him when i'm not with him. i was walking with my friend and i told her that there's still a little "like" in me for him.
and when i'm alone in my room, talking to God.. i realized that i still like him. i really do.

yesterday, "our moments" suddenly popped in my mind..out of nowhere! now i'm going insane.