carrots, anyone??

oh yes it was bonding time
we haven't talked much haha
i need to make myself comfortable, okay?
it was an awkward situation for me.
he approached me. started a conversation and i ended up talking nonsense haha
the conversation didn't go smoothly and casually; it was rather awkward and i cut it short. i talked to my friend about my order and he was gone..?

waaah! now Lord i can't even talk to him casually like before. this sucks. what's wrong with me? TT seriously self, get a hold of yourself!

he's damn friendly!
i don't like him like before but i AVOID him. oh yes, i just realized now that i'm avoiding him. i don't want it to be deeper and i don't want another crying moment, i don't want a second heartbreak from the same person who's only "fault" is just because he's nice and gentleman, being what God designed man to be.. TT when he's there, i don't look at him in the eyes to avoid unnecessary "contact"/"moment"
i'd rather pretend i didn't see him or that i'm busy or that i just know he's there

waaah! now i'm building a wall! did he notice the wall i'm building.
i'm hiding Lord. i'm hiding from him. i don't know if i want it to be broken down or not. but right now, i'm still building it. wall just between us two.