my first heartbreak.

"trust His heart" is playing.
God, You hit the bull's eye once again!

i honestly don't know what God wants or plans.. i can't see where He's pointing me to.
i still like him. i thought i'm over him. he's probably my friend's GB and i'm hurting.
i thought it would be easy to be happy for your friend.. friendship over "like".

God, please remove this feeling.

i still like him..it hurts me because he's most probably not my GB.. because our mommy told us that my friend is probably soon to find her GB and that her GB is him.
i love my friend and i want to rejoice with her... genuine.
this thing is complicated. growing up is complicated. when i was a child, i didn't worry much about these stuffs.

Lord, i hope we could just be friends. help me not to see him in a way that i'm seeing him right now.

this morning, i had my first heartbreak. yes, heartbreak because i cried.. i cried thinking of him, about him, about me, about my friend, talking about these stuffs to God. i cried. ironically, my first teardrop was from my left eye which was supposed to be from "joy". but this morning, it was a heartbreak.