eeeek! God is really sweet these days in a way that He gives me "moments". He tolerates my girly side haha
yesterday i was in the OR for an oncall duty and my OR nurse crush was also on duty! He's a touch person so we share the same love language :))
he's not wearing a mask and i could see his face clearly! My friend told me that he's cute (ikr!)
he talked to us and gave us work to do since we're bored and he needed help.
moments:
he asked us to distribute bottles of sterile water in every room and to replace the old ones. i asked my friend to ask sir if we'll replace everything so she went to find him. as she went to the other room, sir went inside the room where i was! so i asked him myself. Gah! he's always thankful :)
sir asked us to transfer the wheeled thing inside the room. it was heavy and the wheels need oil so we were having a hard time pushing it.
"can you push it?" then he touched my hand as if he's going to help me push it. i quickly told him "we can" "ok" and he went away to do another work. *blush*
we were leaving. i was at the door about to go out and he was about to go in. i bowed a little 'cause i was really shy haha and to somehow show respect and seniority. then he gave me two pats on my back! i couldn't remember what he said "ok lang yan" or "thank you" i just said "thank you po"
*wink*
when in doubt, don't touch :))
crazy move
crazy girls!
my guy friend told me to invite my other guy friend to my birthday and it was really crazy because they were having their small group meeting and i was like "hey they're having a small group" and my guy friend replied, "it's ok, i'm with them" and he "dragged" me..well i walked on my own and he's ahead of me. really crazy 'cause it was like i was an intruder! totally! then my guy friend told the group to excused us for a second and went to the other guy and told him that i have something to say then my guy friend gestured a "come here" and i went. crazy! then i stuttered and i didn't know what to say 'cause it's awkward especially because my crazy groupmates were watching behind the glass door! then as i was stuttering for words i looked at my guy friend as if wanting to be saved and he cleared what i have (well, what he wanted me to say) to say and the other guy replied that he'll see about it, he'll ask for his parents' permission. guy friend, you are really crazy!! :))
then i went back and yes, the girls (groupmates) were all watching as if i was confessing and they were all smiling and waiting for my return. crazy!
and they didn't come..even my guy friend who said he'll come haha
before all that crazy things:
i went to the booth 'cause i have a first timer friend. i was smiling and excited that my friend would want to have a group and our (the other guy friend) eyes met and i just wanted to tell him that my friend's a first timer and where to sign but he said, "ui belated" and i replied, "thanks"
crazy
God, You surprised me! You know i did not ask for this, did i?
fishing-all-day-caught-nothing-but-Jesus-came-and-He-commanded-us-to-cast-our-nets-again-and-we-obeyed-and-so-we-got-plenty moment
i'm a busy bee this semestral break. i seize every opportunity, i get tired but who cares? i'm young! my bones don't craack, craack, i don't have arthritis and i can breathe normally. i am young :)
God has been so faithful. i got 12 cases in less than 10 days :)
friday night.
we were able to ride a jeepney without waiting in line.
we arrived at the lying in with no pregnant women in labor, no babies and no mothers, no one.. just the midwife and the sleeping director in the other room. an hour had passed and we got ourselves busy with nothing then a patient arrived, then another, and another. 3 women arrived and gave birth in the span of 3 hours! we slept for a while and was awaken by the midwife. 2 were in labor. they also gave birth. God is so cool! :) yes this is the fishing-all-day-caught-nothing-but-Jesus-came-and-He-commanded-us-to-cast-our-nets-again-and-we-obeyed-and-so-we-got-plenty moment :)
this is grace. really.
undeserved favor.
thank You, Jesus :)
teen
oh i just turned 20 yesterday! aw i'm an adult already! pssshh
oh well.. age is just a number haha i'm still a little kid at heart :)
you and Jesus... thank you :)
anyway, Jesus sent me His love today through simple things that made me kilig. :))
had dinner with my lovely sisters and queen mother with her brother. 2 were on one side and 3 on the other. it was difficult to eat for me because that table was round and there were just two so.. i hope you get the picture.
and so i asked queen mother's brother if the bag on the chair was his and asked him if he could remove it because i'll sit there to have more space. and we i trnsferred seat.. wait here's the convo
me: __ bag mo to?
him: ha? oo
me: pwede pakitanggal? lipat nalang sana ako
him: ah sige
me: lumipat at kumakain na
r: ui dumadamoves si *my name*
me: ha?
everyone: hahah!
him: pangpick up/the moves yung pde pakitanggal bag? haha
me: ay grabe
eat eat
him:you're more beautiful when you smile
lahat tumahimik at tumawa.
kala namin sayo sinasabi ni ___
ay binasa ko lang. ayun o.. grabe ang mechanic naman kung sinabi ko
*out of nowhere tlg
haha
reply ka.. sabihin mo naman "now, there's more reason to celebrate"
super fun day!
poetic..NOT haha
love is everywhere.
people finding their true love, their God-given lifetime partner
one girl sits at the corner wondering when will hers come
will he ever come
is there someone
lovers are everywhere. timeless love stories ring in my ears.
*sigh* when will mine be shared?
:)
a random hug from an unexpected person
another day! whatta day!
woke up a bit late. thank God He slowed the time and i arrived school earlier than expected when one wakes up late :)
patient assignment. i was assigned to a patient who's immobile. she can't move her extremities especially her legs. it was tiring indeed. i had muscle pains when i got home and i was really busy as a bee during the shift. change this, change that, lift this, lift that..almost had a back pain! to think back, it was tiring but i managed to survive because of God. He strengthens me and during times that i want to "give up" (which i don't know how), God will remind me that He'll sustain me through His words posted on the wall of the patient. The patient would always say thank you and use kind words..she's not grumpy at all despite her pain and condition! and then i realized that it's because she has Christ! to think that she's single when she should have been married. she enjoys life, loves life and loves God so much that it occupies her everything. she's active in missions and all. she GMH :)
then my groupmates try to put everything on me. it's not my responsibility and i just want to burst that time and if possible, just shout or just be an incredible hulk but i have to control these surge of emotions because i represent Christ. and so, i just texted my Christian friends and i just love my friend's reply haha
after duty
i went to school to accompany my other lovely friend. she was so angry at what my groupmates did to me. i just love her! such a blessing. then my past struggle and he was like, "hey it's you!" and he patted my shoulder so hard that it really hurt and i was like, "don't touch me!" and he was trying to touch me and then everything's fast and i just realized he was already hugging me real tight! argh! then my other classmate before hugged me too and i was between then, flattened. i texted again my lovely christian friends that i hate it! and my beautiful partner replied that she thinks that God wants to show me that despite my insensitive groupmates there are people who can sense me. really thank God for her and how she views it. then i realized that my past struggle somehow is a blessing. he's not really all that bad because he helped me when we're classmates.
and i really need a hug from a friend this day. i didn't see him as that but now i do. :)
___
"i think God shows you that despite insensitive people, there are people who can sense you."
my accountability partner’s innocence changed my cynical perspective on people.
God’s been sending people to change this negative perspective on people. last week, He sent the tricycle driver to show me that people are not all bad, that i just have to see and believe the good in every people. today, God used my accountability partner to see the positive in a situation, to see God’s love in the most unusual person, to see beyond the person’s motive (i don’t know, ok?) and just see God showing me that He cares and people care.
God bless :)
be-you-tiful :)
oh yes! yesterday, i went shopping with my friends. i just accompanied them. they were buying beauty stuffs and i thought their face was all natural! they're putting blush on and lip gloss and i thought they weren't. it's expensive to be beautiful. i mean, it needs effort.. yes you read it right, EFFORT! and then God told me that women reflect His beauty and that i must learn to FIX myself, look beautiful, feel beautiful, and just be beautiful! appreciate myself more, pamper myself and just love myself just as Jesus loves me :) delight in myself just as my Maker delights in me :)
ok.. this is one hard thing for me! i'm not all pretty and people often call me "ugly"
I will be beautiful for You, Jesus! :)
hey! join me in this journey to be beautiful for our one and only God :)
extreme GB :)
today, i watched a movie with my friend. and then we were both, "I want extreme! haha"
yes, extreme geeky, extreme loser, extreme goofy, extreme weird, extreme talented or just someone UNIQUE haha
i love my friend, really! i haven't seen her for almost a month
:)
parental guidance for almost twenteen??!
how it used to be..
he offered me the sofa to sleep. he noticed my big eyebags! XD
he said i'm very polite.. super! i'm just shy ok? haha
he often calls other people with my name
he asked me if i watched a certain movie (it's actually a chick flick..local haha) and i said that it was not for kids and he teased me asking, "are you still a kid??!"
we're both losers for not joining the camp XD boo!
he asked me to teach him the reg process and it was really fun.. i feel so "brainy" haha because i'm explaining something and he's eager to learn..someone interrupted and they talked for a minute or two then he get back on me and ask questions until he was able to get the process.. but it was still confusing for him
he was sorry (not serious) for being messy at the table.. made me proud of myself because i'm a messy person and there's someone messier than me haha! and he was asking sorry because it's really in mess because before i left it in his care, it was organized and "clean"
and then i realized, he's a great friend! i shouldn't have let these "twerps" get in the way. women tend to be too emotional! way emotional!
i miss my friend. i know it's my fault..and that makes me sad. :(
yellow sweet
he wore the male version of the shirt that i have and it's my fave color! and he wore it with a white shorts. i wore mine with white shorts! hey! i wore mine 2 weeks ago :)) just weird
he welcomed me when i arrived. wah! i really want to bring back how we used to be..how we could joke around and talk casually.. :) really, he's just a friend now and a brother in Christ :)
the other one gave me choco-peanut saying "it's sweet"
gomenasai! i said sorry because of something that i've done and he just said "well, it happens" and tapped my back
sorry.
super weird weekend, Lord. i just realized it now X_X
it's so... planned!
my friend and i talked yesterday. it was just funny that we like the same guy haha..
well, i don't like him like before (i said this, right)
our conversation was casual haha and we just feel the same..
she feels that he's being awkward and me too!
this is just so...planned
God, is this your idea?? :))
ok, i will not build walls anymore. he might just be breaking from his walls and i'm here making him feel like rejected. sorry!
carrots, anyone??
oh yes it was bonding time
we haven't talked much haha
i need to make myself comfortable, okay?
it was an awkward situation for me.
he approached me. started a conversation and i ended up talking nonsense haha
the conversation didn't go smoothly and casually; it was rather awkward and i cut it short. i talked to my friend about my order and he was gone..?
waaah! now Lord i can't even talk to him casually like before. this sucks. what's wrong with me? TT seriously self, get a hold of yourself!
he's damn friendly!
i don't like him like before but i AVOID him. oh yes, i just realized now that i'm avoiding him. i don't want it to be deeper and i don't want another crying moment, i don't want a second heartbreak from the same person who's only "fault" is just because he's nice and gentleman, being what God designed man to be.. TT when he's there, i don't look at him in the eyes to avoid unnecessary "contact"/"moment"
i'd rather pretend i didn't see him or that i'm busy or that i just know he's there
waaah! now i'm building a wall! did he notice the wall i'm building.
i'm hiding Lord. i'm hiding from him. i don't know if i want it to be broken down or not. but right now, i'm still building it. wall just between us two.
oh love, you are tainted by the world.
boo!
thumbs down at how the world portrays love.
it becomes shallow, self-centered, self-preserving, ego-feeding..
love becomes tainted
love is beautiful
agape.
ye shall not boast
one of the many reasons why i want to meet my GB, why i'm so excited to meet him is that i will boast him to my friends and family. i want them to see that though i am the last to have a "boyfriend" (as what the world calls), mine is the best and that it's a sure one because God planned it.
and yes, i was rebuked yesterday. love does not boast
God hit it again, bull's eye!
:)
"bring her" game
and so yesterday God used him to tell me where to go.
in my dream, he's also the one God used to bring me to my God's best.
is that his role in my life, God?
:)
ok, just once
he never crossed my mind today.. i'm saying this in a positive way :)
oh.. i think he did crossed my mind but just once and it's not really in that way. moments didn't popped out of nowhere. i just remember that i'm struggling with this with him.
thank You, God :)
no butterflies when i'm with him
ironically, i like him but when he's not around.
i was with him last week. gah! he's so friendly, really! he made sure i wasn't left out. he knows how to make a person feel welcomed. i am normal. i acted normal around him because i am normal.
he is really fun to be with. hahahaha!
i think he really likes my friend because he suddenly became stiff when she arrives.
he's really a friend to me. i act as a friend, he acts as a friend too. i know there's no spark or any romantic "thing". there's no anything, simply friendship. i don't feel anything different when i'm with him. ok so that part is ok.
but, but, but! when we're not together, it feels weird
he becomes different when she's present. i become different when we're not together.
this is so weird!!!!! what is this, Lord? :(
i realized that i still like him when i'm not with him. i was walking with my friend and i told her that there's still a little "like" in me for him.
and when i'm alone in my room, talking to God.. i realized that i still like him. i really do.
yesterday, "our moments" suddenly popped in my mind..out of nowhere! now i'm going insane.
my first heartbreak.
"trust His heart" is playing.
God, You hit the bull's eye once again!
i honestly don't know what God wants or plans.. i can't see where He's pointing me to.
i still like him. i thought i'm over him. he's probably my friend's GB and i'm hurting.
i thought it would be easy to be happy for your friend.. friendship over "like".
God, please remove this feeling.
i still like him..it hurts me because he's most probably not my GB.. because our mommy told us that my friend is probably soon to find her GB and that her GB is him.
i love my friend and i want to rejoice with her... genuine.
this thing is complicated. growing up is complicated. when i was a child, i didn't worry much about these stuffs.
Lord, i hope we could just be friends. help me not to see him in a way that i'm seeing him right now.
this morning, i had my first heartbreak. yes, heartbreak because i cried.. i cried thinking of him, about him, about me, about my friend, talking about these stuffs to God. i cried. ironically, my first teardrop was from my left eye which was supposed to be from "joy". but this morning, it was a heartbreak.